Night betrayals

So much has changed. I could not bear to put it down in words as it happened. My flesh was torn from me, sisters against each other, not only was I to choose between my family but my alligence to the Rightous. I cast it all aside, I enter a time of darkness and seek safety within the arms of my beloved. One sister is lost to me, so I concentrate on the healing of the one that is left torn and bloody by the others hands. I do not understand how I can love thru all the betrayal and bloodshed. Why can I not cast her aside as she has done us!! I bleed , oh Goddess how I bleed! I cast her aside! To the darkess I cast her memory , to the darkness I cast my love and loyalty to her. It is where she desires to be, let her stay there to rot in the dark! Right? It is only right as she has forsaken our house and our sisterhood to the shadow she calls family, how can I still .. how can I still... I lay in the comfort of my angel's arms and weep. I weep for the bonds we had that now lay broken, I weep for the sister's blood I still see on my hands, and I weep like a child for my own battered heart. What will become of us... so of course I had to push the limits and see if she was still my soul's reflection, I had to know. She choose them over me, she left me torn and bleeding on the street. Does she know my soul left my body that day? Does she know only the thread that tied me to my Gabriel kept me on this side of the light? He grew darker that day. He called me back in ways he was not suppose to know of. I call him my angel , yet he used the dark to chain me to his side, and I feel it seeping into me. How can I bear to do this again?